Am I Wrong?

Do you ever just feel like there’s something on your mind you’re afraid of saying outloud? Fear of being judged. Fear of thinking that your thoughts will make you look stupid. Fear of knowing you’re the only one ever thinking whatever it is you’re thinking.
Honestly, our society is pretty fucked up. You can’t be fit without being called anorexic and if you don’t have a thigh gap you’re fat.
If you say you think you look pretty in a picture, you’re conceited but if you say “ew” you’re insecure.
This society is so judgmental and damn blunt about it.
Honestly, over the years I really stopped giving fucks about what anyone thinks. It wasn’t easy, but I somehow convinced myself that my thoughts are unique, not stupid. I taught myself that changing who i am is harder than just being myself.
Sometimes I think about how different I am to other people, but it doesn’t bother me. I think everyone’s differences makes them memorable in some sort of way.
Like having a third nipple!! If I ever met someone with a third nipple, my life would be partially complete.

I like to think that people remember me for my fucking fantastic personality… And if I’m lucky, my sailor mouth… But I’m pretty sure the wheelchair wins this competition.
Can’t blame them though, after all… It is bedazzled.


Sorry Not Sorry, Continued.

Not too long ago I wrote a blog stating some of the annoyances that seem to follow people with disabilities. People aren’t always aware of their actions, but we are very aware. The smallest of things you wouldn’t even think twice about doing.
So I’m here to think for you. Listen carefully.

13. I am not an inspiration just because I am a disabled girl who’s gone jet skiing, or who’s traveled to New Orleans to party with drunk people. That does not make me an inspiration. I’ve been told numerous times how much of an inspiration I am just for living my life as anyone else would. Until or unless I successfully accomplish world peace, I am not “an inspiration.”

14. There have been two occasions in my life so far where random strangers come up to me and ask if they can “pray for me.” Both times I’ve awkwardly said yes but for one, IM MUSLIM. Which they don’t know that, I get it, but I never know what to do. They grab my hands and close their eyes with their head down and pray for me… And I just sit and wait for it all to be… I’m not dying…… And I don’t need God… Sure, I can’t walk but that’s just a little physical flaw. I’m not in pain or anything. It’s a nice gesture but it’s still weird. Please, just don’t do it.

15. Why is it that every time I’m with a friend who is also in a wheelchair, there’s always that ONE guy that says “ohhhh are you guys going to race?” We’re not six… And we’re not in NASCAR… Why would we race? The next time I see two people walking next to each other in the mall as friends I’m going to ask them the same thing… See their reaction. We don’t find amusement in those comments. Please, refrain.

16. Apparently, people with disabilities are not allowed to have friends.
Every time I’m with another person going anywhere, the other person is either my sister/brother or my mother. Never a friend. WHY?! First of all, why ask the relationship in the first place? Second of all, we don’t look alike. Third of all, what would a young 20 looking year old person be doing with a daughter who looks nothing like a toddler. Even if they thought i was 13… My “friends” look nothing close to moms. Also, on that note. I’m allowed to have friends who actually enjoy doing normal friend activities with me like shopping and eating. Believe it or not, disabled people actually interact with able bodied people.

17. A couple of occurrences that has happened to me is when people ask my friends questions ABOUT ME. For instance, one time I was making a friendship bracelet and this lady sitting right next to me asked my friend sitting across from us what I was making… I took the liberty of answering a question intended for me. Does a wheelchair also signify deafness? Or maybe they just think I’m not mentally capable of talking or understanding the world around me. Well world, I’ll let you know that I am aware. And I can understand what people say. And I can wittily respond if I must. I enjoy being as obnoxious as possible in public because people probably already have their own preconceived notions about me anyways. We all know they’re staring at the wheelchair. Might as well give them a reason to stare.

18. This ones kind of funny. I think it’s funny when I’m trying to fit through tight spaces and the world just thinks I’m some sort of wide load that needs to be escorted down sidewalks or something. Every time people notice me behind them about to pass them up they literally grab their children super quick, as if I had a gun, and squeeze up right across the store windows. Lol.. People, my chair needs a few extra inches than the normal width of a person to fit through places. The biggest difference is that I can’t tuck in my steel wheelchair stomach to make myself thinner and fit through tiny spaces. I’ve also been driving since I was 3, so stop making your children scared of wheelchairs by prying them out of my way.

19. I got asked this a couple times. “Do you sleep in a bed?” *FACE PALM*
Does it look like my ass is glued to my seat? Do I look like a vampire? Do you really think that I sleep in a sitting position every day of my life? I just don’t understand where this question seemed to be going. Or what answer they actually expected from me. Yes. I sleep in a bed and if the mattress is uncomfortable, it sucks for me too.

20. When people play with my controller unexpectedly and say “hey how do you work this thing” is probably my biggest pet peeve at all. DO NOT TOUCH A WHEELCHAIR PERSONS CONTROLLER. You do not know how to work it and if you dare try, you might just roll them into a wall and sprain their ankle. Or run over the person in front of them. Or push some tables. It’s not a toy, and it’s not something you need to know how to do. Seriously, I don’t grab your legs and ask them how you work those things. The way my wheelchair works is no ones business but my own. And even if you do know how to work it, the last thing I want is for someone literally controlling my life and moving me places I didn’t move myself.

For now, that is all. I will keep updating this list as the world continues to blossom with ignoramuses.

Have a fabulous day.