Dear Parents,

Parenting is probably one of the most controversial topics in society… But I’m gonna tackle this one the best I can. 

I know I’m not a parent but here’s my perspective. 
Raising a child with a disability takes a toll financially, physically, emotionally, and mentally on any parent. You gotta get the right medical equipment: wheelchair, breathing machines, orthopedic braces… You obviously are going to want to find the best doctors for your child to live as healthy and strong as possible. You have to stay strong and can’t give up. It’s tough. It is….
But that’s one aspect of the child’s wellbeing. Next, there’s the actual growing part. Here’s where the arguments may stir up. 
Some parents need to realize what exactly their child’s disability is affecting. I cannot stand seeing some of these parents treating their child, who has a muscular dystrophy or whatever physical disability, as if they have something mentally wrong with them. It’s sickening to see these parents think their child is “special” or “inspirational” or “a hero” because they’re growing up with a disability. I do not agree with parents when they think their child has accomplished some amazing thing just because they’re growing up a little differently. They’re still growing. And learning. And playing. And you do not need to “over-baby” them with every movement they make. I get parents want the best for their child, but treating them as if they are puppies or trophy children is going to affect them negatively in the long run. They’ll grow up sheltered and scared of the outside world alone. They’ll think they’re not capable of doing anything on their own. They’ll depend on you more than they should. And lastly, they won’t live a normal life if the parent does not give them one. 
My mom never once treated me any differently or special because of my disability. I still got slapped when I was a brat and my brother still pulled and yanked my hair when we fought. She pushed me to go out on my own and take public transportation.  My mom has always fought for me to get treated just as equally as the next able bodied guy and she raised me to believe that I can do anything independently. She never babied me. She never held my hand every time I needed it. And she sure as shit does not think I’m inspiring anyone in this world. 
A child with a disability has just as much potential as any other child, these parents need to stop acting like their child’s disability makes them some sort of different or special  person. Just THINK about if you would say the same things about your child if he/she did not have a disability. 
My point is…some parents need to see that their child can grow up to be independent and successful even with a disability… It’s the parents job to teach and guide them. Not do it for them. And certainly not to treat a child who is 7 as if the child were 3. 
I don’t necessarily want to tell parents how to raise their child. All I’m saying is that I would not be where I am today if my mom spent every waking day by my side to make sure she was there to clean up any of my messes. And she definitely did not raise me thinking that I’m better than anyone else just because I have a disability that I have to live with. She made sure I was healthy, found me expert doctors, made sure I was okay medically… And lastly she raised ME, not my disability.  

 

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2 thoughts on “Dear Parents,

  1. Wow…. This is good…. Very good. I grew up on the whole I’m special rhetoric, mostly coming from my grandparents. I never thought myself superior to anybody but mistakenly believed that I had the key to happiness or something. My grandparents thought I should go give speeches on how I live happily in my disability. That because of my physical suffering I could understand and help anybody with any suffering. But of course everyone’s suffers uniquely and while I can relate to other disabled people to an extent there’s no way I could understand things such as the loss of a father or even the loss of the ability to walk. Once I realised that, it was actually a relief, living on a pedestal is hard.

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    • Yes I agree! Everyone has the key to happiness in my opinion, it’s just a matter of finding the right key hole. We still have the ability to accomplish just as much as everyone else. We’re not special or famous because of something were born with.

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