Sex-abilit-y 

So. I did a thing. I did a boudoir photo shoot. And I am flaunting it and proud! I did this shoot for many reasons. The first reason is for MYSELF and not for anyone else, but I’m happy to share it with you guys! The second is that I wanted to be able to do something sexy and not only feel sexy but I want to show people that it’s possible for people with disabilities to be sexy. The third reason is because the Groupon I found was a great fucking deal. Often times, people with disabilities are not seen as sexual beings and quite frankly it really pisses me off. One of the most popular questions I ever get when the subject of my disability comes up is, “Can you have sex?”

Yes. People with disabilities can have sex. Believe it or not. For those of you that don’t know how sex works……………. I won’t go there. BUT, it’s a ridiculous reality people with disabilities live in everyday. People with disabilities have to work twice as hard just to show people we are capable of being sexy or scoring a date or having relationships. Now, I’m not saying it doesn’t happen… but it’s not always as easy as it can be for able bodied people.

Why is this? Why does sitting down constitute the inability to be or perform sexually? We’re not frozen solid and our asses are not nearly glued to our seats.

Society has molded what sexy is, who sexy is, and how sexy is.

But it’s such a limited view of the reality of sexy.

I’ve come to a point in my life where I am confident enough to say that I am in charge of my own tomorrow. I am Muslim, so I grew up in a very conservative household. It’s interesting growing up in this sort of household when you have a disability because it makes it a little more difficult to find yourself, especially in America. For example, growing up I wasn’t allowed to wear shorts or tank tops because a woman’s body is not meant to be shown off. It’s a sign of respect for yourself and to God. Since I have a disability and need help getting dressed, I didn’t really have too much say in what I wore. Plus, my mom also had terrible style so it made it that much harder.

Anyways… being able to find myself and become confident took a long time. Surrounding myself with people that love you and themselves and can truly make the biggest difference.

Learning to love yourself is not easy. It took me a very long time to get to where I am now and it can be mentally draining at times. I love being able to feel good about myself and my body especially having a disability. I’ve got what me and alex like to call “SMA body.” I have prominent ribs, rods in my spine, hip and knee contractures. Not your typical hourglass body. This alone makes it hard for people with disabilities to feel sexy or pretty because of what society has perceived to be a perfect body. There are some people that go through extreme workout plans to get that perfect hourglass body and have that option. I don’t have that option. I don’t really have any options to change my body to look “beautiful.” Being able to accept your imperfections makes you feel and look more beautiful; because at the end of the day, your imperfections are what make you your own perfect. (Super cliché… I know)

I’m not a perfect person. I have my insecurities too, but I would just much rather focus on what I love about myself which ultimately helps me accept the “not-so-perfect” parts. This photoshoot wasn’t just a confidence booster for me. It helped me find another part of me. It helped me figure out that my wheelchair doesn’t always have to be a part of my image, physically and figuratively. Yes, it is a part of me but it definitely can mask some really great bodily features. E.g. My ass.

Kidding. Kind of. Not really. It’s a great feeling to show people that my ass actually isn’t glued to the seat…. mind blowing, I know.

For those of you that didn’t just scroll to the bottom to see my photos… thanks for reading (: