Sex-abilit-y 

So. I did a thing. I did a boudoir photo shoot. And I am flaunting it and proud! I did this shoot for many reasons. The first reason is for MYSELF and not for anyone else, but I’m happy to share it with you guys! The second is that I wanted to be able to do something sexy and not only feel sexy but I want to show people that it’s possible for people with disabilities to be sexy. The third reason is because the Groupon I found was a great fucking deal. Often times, people with disabilities are not seen as sexual beings and quite frankly it really pisses me off. One of the most popular questions I ever get when the subject of my disability comes up is, “Can you have sex?”

Yes. People with disabilities can have sex. Believe it or not. For those of you that don’t know how sex works……………. I won’t go there. BUT, it’s a ridiculous reality people with disabilities live in everyday. People with disabilities have to work twice as hard just to show people we are capable of being sexy or scoring a date or having relationships. Now, I’m not saying it doesn’t happen… but it’s not always as easy as it can be for able bodied people.

Why is this? Why does sitting down constitute the inability to be or perform sexually? We’re not frozen solid and our asses are not nearly glued to our seats.

Society has molded what sexy is, who sexy is, and how sexy is.

But it’s such a limited view of the reality of sexy.

I’ve come to a point in my life where I am confident enough to say that I am in charge of my own tomorrow. I am Muslim, so I grew up in a very conservative household. It’s interesting growing up in this sort of household when you have a disability because it makes it a little more difficult to find yourself, especially in America. For example, growing up I wasn’t allowed to wear shorts or tank tops because a woman’s body is not meant to be shown off. It’s a sign of respect for yourself and to God. Since I have a disability and need help getting dressed, I didn’t really have too much say in what I wore. Plus, my mom also had terrible style so it made it that much harder.

Anyways… being able to find myself and become confident took a long time. Surrounding myself with people that love you and themselves and can truly make the biggest difference.

Learning to love yourself is not easy. It took me a very long time to get to where I am now and it can be mentally draining at times. I love being able to feel good about myself and my body especially having a disability. I’ve got what me and alex like to call “SMA body.” I have prominent ribs, rods in my spine, hip and knee contractures. Not your typical hourglass body. This alone makes it hard for people with disabilities to feel sexy or pretty because of what society has perceived to be a perfect body. There are some people that go through extreme workout plans to get that perfect hourglass body and have that option. I don’t have that option. I don’t really have any options to change my body to look “beautiful.” Being able to accept your imperfections makes you feel and look more beautiful; because at the end of the day, your imperfections are what make you your own perfect. (Super cliché… I know)

I’m not a perfect person. I have my insecurities too, but I would just much rather focus on what I love about myself which ultimately helps me accept the “not-so-perfect” parts. This photoshoot wasn’t just a confidence booster for me. It helped me find another part of me. It helped me figure out that my wheelchair doesn’t always have to be a part of my image, physically and figuratively. Yes, it is a part of me but it definitely can mask some really great bodily features. E.g. My ass.

Kidding. Kind of. Not really. It’s a great feeling to show people that my ass actually isn’t glued to the seat…. mind blowing, I know.

For those of you that didn’t just scroll to the bottom to see my photos… thanks for reading (:


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23 thoughts on “Sex-abilit-y 

  1. I’ve read every word and absorbed .. you should carry on writing it inspired and helped me.. now I’m at an older age sliding quick into disabilities myself .. this shouldn’t be read solely by younger people but those of all ages.. THANKYOU…
    Oh and your beauty and natural sex appeal radiates from you ..

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Loved your story! I’m a mom of a teenage boy with Sma type 2. I hope he is able to realize he is as handsome as he wants to be always. He’s 16, and still at that age where he just wants to blend into the background, but I tell him every day, and will keep telling him until he hears it that some people are not meant to stay in the background, some should take center stage and eat it up! You are definately too beautiful to stay in the background, covered or uncovered! 💓💞💖💗

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi kristie, thanks for reading! High school is definitely an awkward age for everyone, I was not this courageous or in the spotlight when I was in high school. I think as long as he believes it and surrounds himself with good, positive people, he’ll have his time to shine! On his own time. (:

      Like

  3. You always amazed me. Alex amazed me to I love you both and you both are stunning and you should keep writing and inspiring others. You have so much to say and show and you are amazing at doing that. Love you girl.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Read everything, you should right some more, beautiful pic thanks for helping to change peoples point of view and show how sexy we can be

    Like

  5. Nicely said and beautiful photos. Having muscular dystrophy has limited me too, which is often frustrating. I rarely even get to discuss sexual feelings etc.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Fantastic! I did scroll to the bottom 1st but went back to read every word! :-} As a man with a ‘disabled’ body, my body image is terrible. The mere idea any woman would find it/me sexually attractive is completely alien. I’ve found four in 39 years so I know it’s possible but I still don’t believe them.

    btw imho you needed more ‘ass’ shots! Your thighs are beautiful!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Sawsan ALOHA, I always Knew the EYES have it.You are a sexy and gorgeous woman. Congratulations on your photo shoot and if you dont land a bf after this I will be most surprised…..Sorry Im taken. With much love and respect. Your friend Dr Chris H . ( New Zealand)

    Liked by 1 person

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